Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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