Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
