theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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