found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
