thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Randomize
