You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
