Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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