Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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