I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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