I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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