belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
