so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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