so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
