Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
