I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
