we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
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