i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
