epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
