It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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