Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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