i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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