Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
