When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i think i have two assholes
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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