Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
