The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
