WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
