my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
