Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
