i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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