I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
