Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
