i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
