Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
