It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
