I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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