I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I AM VODKA MAN
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
