Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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