Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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