Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
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Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
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So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.