I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I puked off the balcony.
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
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I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
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Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything