It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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