I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.