found the other keg... it's in the tree
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
