She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.