is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong