C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.