Small penises have feelings too.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
