But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
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The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
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I deserve to be covered in dicks
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'm having to shit out rocks
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