You just made me feel so damn special
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
