No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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