but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
