He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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