I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
