no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
