I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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