at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
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