Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
