My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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