In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
