I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize