Just mADE A PArabola og urine
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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