genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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