this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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