Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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