I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize