I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You can't just leave with hair like that
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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