I think I won the penis lottery.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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