you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
