If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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