You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
