I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
